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The USA vs. Canada hockey game was easily the most entertaining hockey event I’ve ever seen. Second place goes to last Sunday’s match-up of the same two teams. It made a hockey fan out of this non-hockey fan. High five, Team USA. You did awesome. Maybe some more people will watch the NHL now.
But probably not. See you in four years!!
I’ve been slowly decluttering everything in my house. I think this is the optimist in me determining that if I do spring cleaning, that will force it to be spring. So far, my will has not changed the weather. Washington, DC, would know.
Either way, I’ve got my junk down to a closet and a dresser top. Almost everything else is squared away or thrown away, which I’m fairly proud of. I like trashing things. Makes me feel accomplished. I don’t, however, like it when I realized I’ve trashed some important paper (which is the inevitable outcome of spring cleaning). It’s just a matter of degrees to see how bad the damage is. I haven’t done it yet (that I know of), but I also haven’t attacked the paper monster that is the top of my dresser. Perhaps that will be this weekend’s job. Perhaps it will never get done and the paper monster and I will live a peaceful coexistence among the hills and valleys of my house’s foundation. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
There was a time in my life where I had access to not one but two free sources of Red Bull energy drink. I had assumed that this meant it was a rather unhealthy and potentially dangerous time in my life. Thankfully, I found this helpful website that makes me feel a bit better about my past energy drink consumption. Introduced to me by the fantastic Mr. Jeff Hinton (not to be confused with the Fantastic Mr. Fox, which I have sadly not seen yet), Death by Caffeine is a website which tells you exactly how many cans of that energy concoction you’re draining it would take to off you.
The creators list an astounding amount of energy drinks. Unfortunately, Drank (the semi-official drink of Stephen Carradini and the Midnight Sons) and Old Glory (the campiest energy drink to exist — the can is an American flag!) are unlisted. Even so, I was surprised to find that the average amount of drinks that would cause system overload to the point of death is about fifty. And even if I did decide to test my Red Bull mettle, I don’t know where I’d get the money to score 136.5 cans of it (death point for my weight, as reported by DbC). The math is 35 dollars per case (24 cans) times 6 cases (needed to get to 136 cans) equals 210 dollars. It also equals more than a month’s worth of gas. So unless I decide to make the worst decision ever and go on a weekend-long energy drink bender (no! sleep! till! Broooooooooklyn!!), Red Bull will not be my demise any time soon.
Thus, feel free to imbibe Monster in peace. You will (most likely) not die, unless you’re just knocking them back like so many bowling pins.
Average Cats, which I find just as funny as lolcats, is dedicated to de-funnying lolcats. It refutes every human-esque trait that lol’ers have assigned to cats in straightforward, so-unironic-it’s-ironic language. It’s hilarious if you think it’s ironic, or if you think it’s not ironic. And that’s a mark of really good humor. Get some average cats in your life.
Autocomplete Me: People submit screenshots of the most ridiculous autocompletes they can find. It never ceases to amuse me. Just remember: these occasionally horrible and always hilarious thoughts were actually searched. And that makes it even funnier. It’s like when you walk behind two people for a while and overhear a completely ridiculous conversation that they’re taking very seriously.
Yes. At least for today, I am autocompleted.