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The balance of summer

August 22, 2010 in God, Life, Music, Personal, Projects, Travel by Stephen | No comments

(Or I hate driving home in the dark but love driving to my friends’ houses in the dark, or how Sufjan Stevens has influenced the way I think about titles)

It seems that I have slowed down my reading, but this is not true. I have slowed down my writing about said reading. I have slowed down my writing about everything, actually: Independent Clauses has been painfully slow, this here blog has been at a dead stop, Peter C. Myers is about to kill me for not working on Sangtera, and I haven’t written a song in months. I’ve been keeping Gospelized moving at a fairly regular clip, but even that has been subject to some stumbles.

There are decent reasons for this pause in productivity (health issues, logistical problems, emotional exhaustion, etc.), but God is working the problems out. I’m standing around and watching, honestly. I haven’t had the energy to do much more than trust that God’s going to be God and do what is best. That takes a considerable amount of energy, lest you scoff.

I have, however, started a new fiction project. Having gotten The Greater Clothes Exchange of the Universe stuck at a major plot point of which I can’t currently solve, I’ve tabled it along with The Last Unicorns on Earth (if they’re in the same place as my abandoned short story ideas, they’re having quite a crowded rave party, I must say). Never fear, though; this new fiction project has a beginning, middle and end. It may end up being a novella, but nevertheless I am confident that the existence of an outline will help see it through to completion. I am also going to write it as quickly as possible so that I am not burned out when the editing process hits. I am not really sure how fast is “as fast as possible,” but I’ll keep the news flowing. The working title is “The Fire Administration Company.”

I’m hitting a bunch of concerts this fall: I have my tickets for Sufjan Stevens (DAL) and the Mountain Goats (OKC) already, I’m planning on buying tickets for Mumford and Sons in Dallas November 4th, and I’m debating going down for the Tallest Man on Earth on September 17 and Avett Brothers in OKC sometime. I’ve seen the Avetts twice, so that one isn’t a huge concern for me; but if there’s a good party of people going, I could easily be enticed to see them jump around with a banjo and a double bass.

Opolis also has a mega-awesome slate of shows for fall, and I’m sure I’ll hit the Appleseed Cast, among other shows.

Sufjan’s new EP is strange and wonderful. Arcade Fire’s new album tries hard to be epic and mostly succeeds. Tokyo Police Club’s Champ is still a bunch of pensive guys trying endearingly to be energetic.  Fall music is just around the corner, which means I’ll be busting out Damien Jurado’s Rehearsals for Departure a lot more than I have in the past eight months.

And with that, the dark comes earlier and earlier, which is where the middle third of today’s far-too-long title comes from. I dislike that, but I like the temperatures it brings. Can I have long days of cold weather? Do I have to go the Arctic Circle for this? Or does this happen in Canada somewhere?

Book review: Live What You Love

July 12, 2010 in Books, Life, Personal, Projects, Travel by Stephen | No comments

I dream. No, I dream a lot. I probably should list dreaming on my hobbies. I love dreams.

And I do try to make my dreams happen. The evidence is scattered about the interwebs and about my room in my house; instruments, old magazines I’ve made or been a part of, books, journals, manuscripts (mine and friends’), lyrics, jobs at various websites, etc. etc.

But sometimes dreams come tumbling down. They just do; we don’t live in heaven yet.

And that’s where Live What You Love comes in. Live What You Love isn’t a self-help book. It isn’t a memoir, either. It’s both of those, plus a bit of kick in the pants. It’s vignettes from the crazy life of Bob and Melinda Blanchard, who have indulged every crazy business idea and life change that they thought they could reasonably sustain and ended up with a lifetime of crazy stories to show for it. They split their time between Anguilla (in the Caribbean) and Vermont, running businesses galore all over several countries (!). It seems totally ridiculous.

But reading their vignettes and their thoughtful musings on their life story, they break it down into manageable chunks. They didn’t end up dual citizens running businesses in two countries in one fell swoop; they did it piece by piece, never anticipating the next piece until the current one was down. They were crazy ideas that they were doing piece by piece, but they were doing them piece by piece.

It is the ultimate dreamer’s guide. Not only a “how you can do this” book, it’s a “you can do this; we did it, why can’t you?” They don’t seem any different than me; they simply seem willing to risk stuff for the sake of doing what they love. I’m pretty willing to do that too. I just need to get off my duff and start making decisions. And I am. And it’s good. And I feel like I’m moving.

Even though this book is five years old (I found it in a clearance bin, sorry to say; it’s worth so much more than that!!), I highly recommend it. Definitely gave me a sense of wonder about life that I had sorely been missing, thinking my time for dreams had passed. They prove that the time for dreams is always. And if you don’t see that, you simply need a little push to prove it. Ah! So good.

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Warbreaker sets great characters and taut suspense in an interesting world

June 13, 2010 in I read that already, Personal by Stephen | No comments

Peter C. Myers and I are writing a fantasy novel. Because I’m a firm believer in knowing the history and present before you can become future, I’m reading a lot of fantasy these days. My friend Chris Krycho handed me Brandon Sanderson’s Warbreaker, and I’m quite grateful that he did.

One of my main displeasures with high fantasy is that it’s all so serious (the Joker has a thing or two to say about this). It doesn’t have any heart; it’s political, daring, adventurous and sterile. Also, I will not read a book that has a dragon on the cover. If you want to recommend one to me (cause “it’s so gooooood!“), rip the cover off and hand it to me. Thanks.

Warbreaker dispenses with this nonsense by having one of the four main characters be skeptical of the entire conceit of the book. Lightsong the Bold, a “god” who doesn’t believe he’s a god, thinks that everything in his world (and thus, the whole book) is patently ridiculous. His wicked humor brings a breath of fresh air to what could have been just another political intrigue fantasy novel.

Even without Lightsong, Sanderson probably would have avoided sterility by his deft characterization. I feel like the words “deft” and “characterization” go together, so I did that for you. Here’s what I mean: I like the people I’m supposed to like and hate the people I’m supposed to hate. And when characters move from one camp to the other, I don’t think twice about turning hate into love and love into hate. I mean, the character wasn’t telling the truth! Why should I like him anymore?!

The storyline does get a bit confusing toward the end, as he pulls off a mega twist.  It’s the sort of twist that you didn’t see coming, but only because it was barely referenced throughout the book. I didn’t feel cheated, but I also had to reread pages several times to figure out where allegiances lay. It took away from the page-turning suspense to have to keep page-turning backwards.

As my favorite things in fiction are characters and suspense, I loved Warbreaker. Sanderson delivers them in spades. Fans of world creation should be pleased as well; the world is so fully developed that I see it nigh on impossible that Sanderson let it go (and he does leave the tiniest sliver of hope for a sequel on the last page). It’s a fascinating, clever and uniquely invented world; one that I won’t ruin by attempting to explain.

It’s worth the time, and as it’s only one book, it’s definitely not as big a time outlay as most fantasy books/series. Get it. Read it. Love it.

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Durantula is here, pt 2: …and it improves my character

April 25, 2010 in God, Humor, Personal, Sports by Stephen | No comments

Having never been able to cheer for a hometown team (recap: New York, Florida, Texas, Wisconsin, Minnesota), the concept of hometown pride didn’t really register with me, except as related to college sports. Having those boys in blue play in my town, five miles from where I work, is thrilling. Reading articles praising the Thunder and especially Kevin Durant strike up a pride in me that I have never experienced, even as an ardent fan of the Green Bay Packers. Those are my boys.

But what’s special about the Oklahoma City Thunder is the fact that they are rock-solid under pressure. They conduct themselves with grace on the court and grace in the press conference that is almost unheard of in professional sports. For example, schoolyard bully Phil Jackson made it to the playoffs again with his Lakers. The man is a good coach when it comes to basketball; when it comes to PR, he’s an awful person. He tries to rattle players, teams, coaches and even referees. He gave the treatment to Kevin Durant at the beginning of the playoffs, insisting that referees were giving him preferential treatment in free throws.

Scott Brooks, the NBA coach of the year, could have ripped ol’ Phil a new one for trashing his star. There are plenty of people in professional sports (Kevin Garnett, old-school Ron Artest, all-school Mark Cuban, most of the football coaches in the world) who would have done just that. Scotty “Ice” Brooks, as I’m now calling him, instead said this:

“I have read about it,” Brooks said before the Thunder opened their first-round playoff series against the Lakers at Staples Center on Sunday. “But not one guy in our organization, players or coaches, we haven’t even talked about it. We understand that you have to play.

“There’s nothing that you can say in the paper that should affect you. Mind games to me are overrated.”

Wait. Did you just shove Phil Jackson to the section of your brain reserved for the grocery list? And get your team to do the same? Yes. That just happened.

But wait! There’s more. Kevin Durant, current NBA scoring champion and youngest scoring champion ever (yeah, at 22, I’m older than him), has humility. Yes, go back and read that sentence again. Then read these next ones:

“We don’t have guys like Kobe Bryant that can just go off for 30 points in the fourth quarter to win the game or hit a fade-away 3-pointer and win a game. We don’t have people like that.

Reminded that as the NBA scoring champ who averaged 30.1 points a game, he would be cast as that guy, Durant shook his head.

“I’m not there,” he said. “I wish, that’s where I’m trying to get to, but I’m not there yet.”

You are the best scorer in the league on the most improved team in possibly the history of sports (note: the series with the Lakers is, in fact, 2-2), and you have the humility to admit that you probably aren’t going to nail a pressure shot every time?

I think my heart glowed a little bit brighter with pride. I don’t know about Mr. Durant’s religious affiliations or lack thereof, but his amount of humility humbles me as a Christian. I, for one, would probably not be that gracious. I would probably shoot my mouth off. Because I’m awesome. Yeah. What now?!

This means that being a card-carrying Thunder fan has made me a better person. I feel kind of hokey saying it, but it’s honestly true. I am proud of the fact that the entire team works hard in the gym every practice (according to “Ice” Brooks). I am proud of the fact that they never quit playing in games, even when behind (there’s a certain defending champion basketball team that can’t say the same). I am proud of the fact that they respond to criticism graciously and don’t get rattled.

And once I realize how proud I am of that, I realize how I could be proud of those things in myself, if I had them in the same quantities.

But it’s so different when people are attacking me unjustly! I’m right! they’re wrong!

But Mr. Jackson lashed out incorrectly not only personally, but personally at Durantula in public. And Kevin Durant took it in stride. Again. I am not that good at life.

So, while I love the fact that the Thunder are underdogs (phew! avoided a thunderdogs joke!), local, talented and winning, I most love the fact that they have character. And their character challenges me. And that is very, very unusual in a team.

Go Thunder. Beat LA.

(all quotes from ESPN Los Angeles.com’s “Brooks: Durant deserves calls”)

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Durantula is here, pt 1: A sports history

April 18, 2010 in Humor, Personal by Stephen | No comments

I am extremely interested in sports. I initially wrote “obsessed,” but that’s not exactly true. I can turn off my fandom if I have to. The number of situations that I feel it necessary to turn off my fandom is a significantly smaller number than most people, though.

This passion (I think that’s a fair term) has been invested in multiple sports.  My first love was baseball: I pored over baseball box scores, meticulously researching my Mets and Marlins. My choosing methods for fandom were to shape the rest of my sports-loving career; I chose those two teams (which, much to my current chagrin, are divisional rivals – I was not aware of how sports worked at that point) because they had the worst records in baseball in 1994. I was six years old.

The Marlins won the world series in ’97; I was allowed to stay up late on a school night to watch game seven. I feel pretty gangster (although I wouldn’t have said it that way then) because the game went to extra innings, so I got to stay up even later. I distinctly remember hunching over on the couch at the very end of the game, waiting for something. I don’t remember celebrating ferociously; I’m sure I did that, though. They sold their team off after that, and I soured on them. I dropped them from my fanship, although I still rooted for them when they were on TV. Their similar post-world series antics in 2003 made them dead to me.

I still root for the Mets. That’s pretty much all there is to say about that.

Football was the next sport to take hold of my attention. I was a Cowboys fan by proximity; Dallas was the closest to Oklahoma. I dropped my affections after Michael Irvin’s 1996 drug bust. It didn’t take much to turn me in those days. I picked up the Packers, who did me well for many, many years. I only recently turned in my Packers fanship when I realized that half of OU’s draftees and my favorite football player of all time (Brett Favre is a man’s man) were on the Vikings, and I secretly wanted to cheer for them despite their avowed hatred of my “favorite” team. I put the cheeseheads in the closet (yes, my family actually owns cheeseheads) and got an Adrian Peterson jersey for Christmas.

College sports shall be addressed at another time, as my fanaticism actually does border on obsession. And even if you scraped up all the ice in Oklahoma, I’m not sure you’d have enough for a hockey rink.

But the reason for this post is that I have just now had my little heart tweaked (not broken, mind you; that’s for game four/five/six/seven) by the NBA for the first time. Because goodness gracious, I love the OKC Thunder. 

Next time I’ll explain more about my love of the Thunder.

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Human ping-pong

April 17, 2010 in Life, Music, Personal, Projects by Stephen | 1 comment

I’ve been having a lot of issues with my creative life recently. They come in the form of several realizations.

The first is that I don’t have the guts to do terrible things to my characters. I get annoyed when writers do emotionally damaging things to their characters; it makes me want to stop reading. At the same time, if a writer can make me feel that strongly for a character that I do not want to see that character in harm, the author has done his job very well. So, to rephrase my previous statement: I balk at good writing. If I balk as a reader, there’s no way I can I get through it as an author. This is probably why my manuscript looks a lot more like Garden State than The Royal Tenenbaums. Both are essentially about family. One does brutal things to its characters emotionally and makes me feel it. The other has Zach Braff in it.

I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to combat this. I suppose I’ll work on writing realistic characters in painful situations and get used to it. Otherwise Ted Dekker will keep selling more books than me.

The second realization is a begrudging admission of something I’ve fought against for a long time. As much as I love piano and bass, rock bands need guitars (Ben Folds Five notwithstanding). And out of all the instruments I’ve ever picked up, the guitar is the only one that has baffled me. So, I need a guitarist. And that’s a difficult proposition.

The final realization is that my emotional stress has been incapacitating my creative life instead of enabling it. At the risk of sounding metaphysical, I’ll say that I’m wasting good suffering by not turning it into good art. That’s all. Don’t want you to think I’m going off the deep end here. But I did write a hymn today about my frustrations. It’s my daily post over at my new art project (which I will let you all in on soon, as soon as I finish tweaking a few things).

I’m trying to turn it around; it’s a real struggle. But I suppose most things in life are.

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Motion/progress

April 7, 2010 in Personal by Stephen | No comments

I’d rather be a car wheel than a fan

cause then at least I’d be moving you.

As a fan I’d go faster and faster and then

still be in the same place still doing the same thing

and that’s not a very good end

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Personal Tectonics

April 6, 2010 in Personal by Stephen | No comments

Became and becoming, the engine humming.

And all we are, endearing, succumbing

to all we will be, as we keep our tongues running.

Pray for the morning to come in the right way.

Pray for the morning to come at the right time.

A Mixtape, IC-Style

April 4, 2010 in God, Music, Personal, Projects by Stephen | No comments

I reposted this from Independent Clauses.

In Internet terms, today I am celebrating the BEST. DAY. EVER. For my Savior did not stay dead; he rose to give the world life. I live because he wanted to give me life through his sacrifice.

As such, it’s time for an Easter playlist, IC-style.

1. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing – Sufjan Stevens. I know it’s a rule in baseball and mixtapes to not put your home-run hitter as your lead-off man. But this song so perfectly sums up everything I believe about Jesus Christ that it has to be played first. Musically gorgeous, lyrically foundational; this track is amazing. Thank you, Sufjan.

2. Good News! (For Everyone.) – Aaron Hale. Technically a Christmas song, but Easter is good news for everyone.

3. Really Something – Aaron Sprinkle. “Sometimes I actually forget that this is really something.” And I do. And it’s a tragedy.

4. Heaven – Brett Dennen. I don’t agree with his theology, but he asks the right questions. “Is there a home for the homeless? Is there hope for the hopeless?” Yes, yes there is.

5. Oh Christmas Tree! or Happy Birthday by Elijah Wyman. In the midst of intense pain and grief, there is mercy and grace. It is hard to find sometimes, but Wyman captures that spirit and puts it to song.

6. Never Enuff – Mansions.  The narrator of this song is trying to break up with God. God does not break up with us. That’s pretty much the Easter story.

7. More than Ever – Holy Fiction. “I need you more than ever.”

8. Against Pollution – The Mountain Goats. One of the most misunderstood songs I’ve ever tried to give people on mixtapes. This song, although it does include a store clerk killing a would-be robber by shooting him “in the face, and I would do it again,” is not an endorsement of violence. It is a passionate endorsement that life is so important to the narrator that if he has to kill to stay alive he will do it. While I don’t fully agree with the degree to which the narrator goes, I deeply understand the sentiment. I want life, and to quote the Postal Service, I want life “in every word, to the extent that it’s absurd.” I don’t want to go down now. I want to keep kicking. And Jesus Christ offers that in spades.  Even then, the chorus: “When the last days come/we shall see visions/more vivid than sunsets/brighter than stars. We will recognize each other/and see ourselves for the first time/the way we really are.” Please. Amen.

9. Revelation – Hands. “Hear, oh Earth; the Lord our God is one.” Probably the only time the time-honored Jewish prayer has been sung by a man-choir in a epic nine-minute hardcore song. God is a big God.

1o. We’re Nothing Without You – The Juliana Theory. Self-explanatory.

11. Sufficient/Knocked Out – Bleach. Half the song proclaims how God is all-sufficient; the other half pleas for God to be all-sufficient in the midst of deep, deep struggle and pain. This is the Christian fight in ten minutes.

12. Fishing the Sky – Appleseed Cast. This is not even a remotely religious song. But when I hear it, it’s the closest thing to heaven I’ve ever heard.

13. Always – Switchfoot. “And I am always, always/I am always yours.”

14. Hope to Carry On – Caedmon’s Call. Don’t be scared off by the name; it’s Derek Webb singing. The title is self-explanatory. The track is glorious, upbeat, yearning acoustic folk.

15. That Where I Am That You May Also Be – Rich Mullins. One of my heroes, musically and in the way he lived his life, this was one of his final songs before he went to where He was. It is about as optimistic as a song gets while still grounded in non-sappiness.

16. Jesus – Page France. “Jesus came up through the ground so dirty, with worms in his hair and a hand so sturdy, we call him his magic, he calls us worthy, Jesus came up through the ground so dirty.” The gospel in indie terms.

May God find you where you are, comforting those that need comfort and shaking those who need shaking. Amen.

X-a-day

March 30, 2010 in Personal, Projects by Stephen | No comments

I very often fear that I will not leave any art behind when I go. The idea of legacy is important to me in all aspects of life, but it has become especially important to me in the field of art. Authors leave behind books, musicians leave behind albums, visual artists leave behind works.

Tied into this recent topic of thought is my longtime obsession with ongoing projects. I love song-a-day projects (like Chris Hickey‘s, or my friend Adam Howard‘s) and art-a-day projects (like Skull a Day or Make Something Cool Every Day).

I remember other x-a-day projects; my first big blog kick led me to wedding/photography/craft designer blogs. I had a whole mess of them that I read, but when my computer went down I lost a great many of them. There were projects of that nature in those blogs, most memorably a woman who chronicled every day what she wore. It was fascinating in an aesthetic way, and not creepy until right this moment. Yikes. But hey, she put it online.

I’m thinking really hard about an x-a-day project I can do. I really would like to undertake one, as I am floundering a bit in my creative life. I think the discipline of having one task in a creative way, each and every day, would cause me to be more creative. So, I’m thinking hard. It’s not going to be song-a-day, though. I don’t write songs fast enough for that.

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