There was a time in my life where I had access to not one but two free sources of Red Bull energy drink. I had assumed that this meant it was a rather unhealthy and potentially dangerous time in my life. Thankfully, I found this helpful website that makes me feel a bit better about my past energy drink consumption. Introduced to me by the fantastic Mr. Jeff Hinton (not to be confused with the Fantastic Mr. Fox, which I have sadly not seen yet), Death by Caffeine is a website which tells you exactly how many cans of that energy concoction you’re draining it would take to off you.
The creators list an astounding amount of energy drinks. Unfortunately, Drank (the semi-official drink of Stephen Carradini and the Midnight Sons) and Old Glory (the campiest energy drink to exist — the can is an American flag!) are unlisted. Even so, I was surprised to find that the average amount of drinks that would cause system overload to the point of death is about fifty. And even if I did decide to test my Red Bull mettle, I don’t know where I’d get the money to score 136.5 cans of it (death point for my weight, as reported by DbC). The math is 35 dollars per case (24 cans) times 6 cases (needed to get to 136 cans) equals 210 dollars. It also equals more than a month’s worth of gas. So unless I decide to make the worst decision ever and go on a weekend-long energy drink bender (no! sleep! till! Broooooooooklyn!!), Red Bull will not be my demise any time soon.
Thus, feel free to imbibe Monster in peace. You will (most likely) not die, unless you’re just knocking them back like so many bowling pins.